Humour abounds

An amusing email exchange:

Slipper starts
Rog, how does your policy work? Am I allowed to play the week after I don't play? I know you won't let me play the week after I only beat my opponent 6-2, cuz that's apparently an off-night and all and therefore a punishable offense, so I'm just wondering if I'm allowed to play this week? Please let me know. Do I have to produce some verifiable record of some feat I have accomplished during the off-week in order to be eligible?

Skipper replies
Steve, you do make some interesting points, the answers to which could cover many pages in explanation. Please trust that it is often difficult to distribute playing time among six able-bodied players when a given night offers spots for only four. I have created a highly complex patented algorithm to help me solve this but I can't share it's secrets with you, or anyone. I can say that there is a whining parameter which gets factored in accordingly.

On the plus side, the algorithm is not necessary this particular week as any moron should be able to work out that if only four players show up, league rules state that they MUST all play. I do hope that answers your most pressing issue.

BTW, I am confused how you can beat any of your opponents 6-2. I think you were trying to say that on the night in question that although you lost 11-6, closer inspection well show that you did win more games than your opponent. Aahhhhh, the joys of being rated at the pinnacle of the sport doth have its disadvantages, n'est ce pas?

Leia (or Edsel? or 500?) goes Haiku
I will present my response in haiku:

you guys are so gay
queer like a brokeback poolroom
please just get a room

Axis of kind of evil chappies

We had a full turnout Thursday throughout the match, which was rather nice. It turned out that Liz's birthday was later that night i.e. Friday. That got me thinking about us not having come up with a nickname for her yet.
Keeping with the car theme, current production Ford motor models are:

Fusion / Mustang / Focus / Five Hundred / Freestar / Edge / Escape / Explorer / Expedition

None of those seem to stick, though 500 tickles my fancy for some reason. If you wanna go back in time there was always the Edsel. Hmmmm, howzabout Ford Edsel? Definitely food for thought.

Anyway, the evening was pretty uneventful. Steve didn't play; he thought it was cuz he lost the previous week; I thought it was cuz it was his turn to sit. Matt didn't play cuz it was bonus day where he works & he'd been drinking since lunchtime. For a change.

Liz (500? Edsel?) lost to a young looking chappy who seemed very nice. Lap won against a very friendly D+ who didn't want to win even one rack. Swell came back from the abyss for the second week in a row & beat an Eastern European chap, who came across as being friendly enough. Skipper left an up to that point unbeaten chap with his first loss. This individual was also very kind, giving up 2 ball-in-hands on the 9 & leaving a couple of 9 ball combos (of which one was missed).

We're 8-4 & homing in on the playoffs with 3 matches left.

Deceptively difficult

Another lost toss (but who's counting). Liz & Lap went up first which seems to be becoming a fairly regular opening line-up. During the pre-match warmup, Edwin arrived & told me all about his recent Caribbean cruise vacation, mentioning all the islands he visited & the various dining options on the ship. It's funny but I swear blind that I didn't ask him about it.

I missed the end bit of Liz's first rack cuz I was reluctantly chosen as a coach by Lap cuz Steve was outside having a puff. I got back to my seat & asked (the recently re-appeared) Steve if Liz had won the rack and he said "you know, I was sitting here watching it and I have absolutely no idea who won". What was he smoking outside? Both Lap & Liz won on the hill in tough (and obviously close) matches.

We threw a rather late (important handbag meeting apparently) Weasler up 3rd who'd manage to squeeze in one night of practice over the last 3 weeks in between visits to China & The Bahamas. He drew the bronzed looking Edwin.


Meanwhile Slipper, who had by self-admission been red-hot recently, went up 4th. Unfortunately he didn't "feel" it in his match against Tom T and came in second, leaving us with the situation that the large-headed-German-chap had to win his match or we lost. And the score was 6-4 to his opponent in a race to 7. Somehow Weasler showed true intestinal fortitude and pulled through, leading us to victory. His comment after "saved your sorry asses again" was difficult to reconcile with his 3-4 record. Still, let him have his fun.

Stiffed by Weasly

What kind of low-life scumbag doesn't pay back their poor, impoverished, non-income earning captain the $14 he forks out in advance for green fees? Times must be hard in the handbag business.

Beaten down by Disease

We got to play the Leyman/Busacca boyz this week and we were on tables not called 11 & 12, which made a pleasant change. Especially for Steve.

Lap was lost for words after his surprise defeat by Larry. I thought about it & found some for him cuz I like to help. So we're 0-1.

Steve neanwhile went into battle without his eyesight functioning at it's peak but you wouldn't have believed it by the way he shot. Superbly. My god he's good. His opponent no longer holds an unbeaten record. And we're 1-1 now.

Matt would've preferred to play first but that didn't happen. Matt would have prefered more time at the table too but his opponent wasn't letting that happen either. Meanwhile BTR was up against the league operator who'd just run 40 balls in a straight pool warm up. That was irrelevant though cuz a quality performance from the skipper left Mr Leyman pulling whatever was left of his hair out & put us up 2-1. However Matt lost shortly after & though it was 2-2, we lost on racks.

That's very annoying.

Liz was out with her family who surprised her & Mike was in the Bahamas trying to hunt down the jellyfish that attacked Francine on an earlier visit.