A tough bit of Zodomy

We matched up against at team with a very aggressive sounding monicker:

You don't get too many warm fuzzies from that, eh? We were a little short handed as Liz & Lap were in Illinois at two completely separate events. Or so they say. And who would I be to cast doubt over that. Regardless, the remaining 3 started slowly, with Button losing 7-2 & BTR losing 7-5. Weasly went up 3rd & got Rolando, leaving me or Matt to double up. Taking Matt to one side I said something like:

"OK. We're a bit f**ked here. There's no way Bootsie is gonna beat this monster when he only plays once a week so we've already lost. Let's get you another game towards your 8 for Vegas qualification".

Matty didn't really want to play, neither did I so we flipped and:

On my way back from the bathroom Matt said that on second thoughts he did want to play. Yippee! So I sat down & watched Weasler make a 9 on the break & then run some balls & be on a moderately difficult 9 which if he'd made, he would've won his match 9-1. Oh, what songs would have been sung about such a performance, future generations would hear stories of how the nice large headed German chappy slaughtered the might of Zod. But it rattled & Rolando won 6 racks in a row before Weasler finished it off 9-7. By then we'd lost the match so we watched Matt have slightly more fun in his second match than he did in his first but not much more.

Unbeaten no more

After a couple of miserable outings, we managed to sneak a W against the only undefeated team in the league. It sure as hell wasn't easy; an on time & completely sober Matty B lost to some girl while Liz beat the illustrated man leaving it 1-1 & us up by 1 rack. In a situation like that, the obvious thing to do was to send in someone who guarantees victory before he even knows who he's playing, Mike "Bootsie" Wenzler

and his cohort of years, the usually steady skipper. It looked as though a stellar performance by Maharaji might go to waste as Bootsie seemed to be struggling. I guess 15 mins of practice time each week can be too little even for a man of his obvious natural talent. Despite missing some easy stuff and THE worst ever positional shot to get to a 9 ball (that was right by the pocket) that I'd ever seen, Weasler's opponent was kind enough not to win. And we won. Super.

As an aside, Mr Jessen being disappointed by the news of not playing that evening, decided to try to fill his time as constructively as possible by challenging Thorsten Hohmann (former world champion, European straight pool champion, etc..) to a game. A terrified looking Hohmann made some excuse about needing to warm up first & then shot out of the pool hall

while our backs were turned. He knew the way the cards laid....

Sucios debacle

What is a Sucio? Being curious I googled it & was hit with a bunch of spanishy pages together with a link to UrbanDictionary which returned:

"another way to say fags, faggots, queers, homos,etc.
derived from the Spanish word meaning a dirty man or men"

I am not making that up. Now that doesn't seem a nice description of our Corner Billiards buddies but they were the ones who came up with it. Googling the images for Sucios, this seemed the most fitting:


Whatever the true meaning of the name is, for our group of merry men & lady on this night it meant something along the lines of "Killers", "Ass-Kickers", "Spanish Destruction" etc. Apart from Mr Jessen standing up for himself, the remaining players were handily spanked & not in the manner the skipper likes paying $200 on hour for.

The only good news was the Paul "Spreadsheet" Askham's team also lost, leaving us in 3rd place. Our winning % dropped to a feeble 0.486 though. Appalling.

Nightmare on 76th street

Deceptively Dangerous proved to be somewhat tougher than usual & abused us & tossed us away like a used
Not one member of Fredddy Kruger's minions could muster a victory, not one. A 4-0 spanking that was most memorable for Ford Focus' news that she was moving to St Louis for a couple of months for the ribs (or was it the stroke?) or something. Perhaps taking Mr Beepers with her for a walk.

The re-appearance of Swellhead did little to invigorate the troops but he did deserve some sympathy as he broke at the start of the fourth match just as the 3rd match finished & knowing we were down 3-0. While he battled on like a man with two arms which weren't working 100% correctly, Lap & Button were playing left handed on the table next to him & making just as many balls as they were making in their own matches and at a faster rate than Weasly was. Or so it seemed but I really should put that down to the late hour of the evening.

An absolute nightmare.

Choices, choices

Back in mediaeval times when a brave knight prepared for battle, he'd put on appropriate armour for the occasion. Perhaps covered by a family coat of arms or some keepsake from the last poor sod he'd decapitated/speared. Of course in modern times, things have changed. For those of us who's sphere of combat is the green baize, we get a different kind of choice. I mean, which one would you pick to put the fear of God into your opponent?


All I can say is that I think Slipper chose poorly.

Still Alive

Happy to say that my idle threats of killing myself have come to naught...
I may even keep playing pool. I must remind myself that if I quit I would have to get a job -- and we just can't have that, can we?

Liz

p.s. did we win?

A Tale of Two Sets

Doubling up last week saw the emergence of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde.

Feeling quite "elevated" during my first set, I played like a champion. Giving 4 on 9, I pulled out a 9-5 victory with style and grace. The only game conceded was a true flyer by my opponent which led to a 1-9 double-kiss fish. During my time at the table, the balls were finding the middle of the pockets, and ole whitey was on a string. I would rate my speed in this set between A+ and Open.

The second set did not produce the same result. Again, I was giving 4 on 9. This time, I was on the losing end of a 9-7 result. My opponent made more bank shots in a single set than I have attempted in the past month. My command of the table was not nearly up to snuff. I would rate my speed in this second set at a B level.

Consistency being the key, I think this leads me to believe that I should have taken some time in between sets to restore my psyche to its former "elevated" position.

- GBNYPT